Year in Review
Sure, there’s another week left in 2024, but I can’t imagine what could happen to change my feelings about the year in general. It was a bad one for me. I barely wrote and didn’t publish anything. I was asked to run for the local school board then backstabbed by the people who encouraged me to get involved in the first place. I put myself out there by auditioning for the first time in literally decades and was rejected… Like, they didn’t even want me in the ensemble (which was all I was aiming for). I hit a crisis point this year—was s****dal for a bit—and I’m still not fully recovered. Like, I have days where I feel worthless and unsupported. I try not to think about it.
One saving grace was finding a great career counselor to help me put things in perspective. In fact, she inspired me to make a few visuals that I call “touchstones” for remembering key points:
We did a visualization exercise in which I saw an orchard and smelled lemon trees. I’m allergic to citrus! So we discussed the possibility of planting my own tree—an apple tree—and sharing with anyone else who can’t have or doesn’t like lemons.
Similar to planting my own tree, instead of trying to fit in other places, or hoping to be included (when so often I am not), my goal is to create welcoming spaces for others who feel excluded.
I often lament that I don’t get as many followers as others on social media. Again, I’m not invited into certain circles. But no matter how small my platform is, I can still share it. That’s doesn’t leave less space for me; it actually adds to my space.
My coach and I have talked about destinations a lot. We used “Malibu” as an example, and I came to the realization that being fixated on a specific place is very limiting. Does it have to be “Malibu”? Would any seaside place do? What are the musts for where I want to end up, and where can I be flexible?
We’ve also talked about writing being its own reward. Yes, I still want to be successful (and I can define that via sales, recognition, etc.), but when I’m in the flow of writing, it’s almost like I’m channeling something outside of myself. Like the characters want and need me to tell their stories. And I’m honored to have been chosen by them for that task.
In all, it’s been a tough year on a personal and professional level. But I’m walking out of 2024 with these lessons and new points of view. Hopefully, with these in my pocket, I can look forward to a better 2025.*
*I know 2025 is going to be a $h!tshow on a national and international level for a lot of reasons, but that’s a different post for another day.
Hi, Manda. I’m sorry to hear about your frustrations. If you are ever interested in collaborating, let me know. I have written a kid’s chapter book; however, im a better illustrator than a writer, and who knows, you might get inspired by a collaboration. I have approached many others about collaborating, and none have been interested, so if this idea is not for you, that’s cool.
Best wishes, Doug
P.S. I have a fig tree if you want one.
Thanks, Doug! I’d be interested to read your book sometime. I’m currently doing editing work, but if/when I get back to writing, it might be fun to consider a collaboration sometime.
~M