I’m Not Right for This World

Mpepper/ February 1, 2021/ Think Pieces

Here is what I’m discovering—or maybe it’s what keeps getting thrust into my face from all sides. I don’t and can’t function within the typical constructs of, er… Well, the business world, anyway.

The best job I ever had was atypical. I worked in a little family-owned shop, and the place really was like a big family. Like something out of a sitcom. I thrived there. But then I went on to “real” jobs. Office jobs. And though I was good at what I did, I could not get the hang of corporate culture.

Maybe it’s my ASD. (I was diagnosed as an undergrad.) But the issues go beyond the cubicle. I also can’t seem to get a toehold in the publishing world. It seems like I write things that are just a little too… different. Agents have told me I’m a good writer but that my books aren’t marketable. And I can’t seem to change the way I write, or what I write, even when I try to revise. So I think there’s no real hope for me.

Taken together, it seems I’m incapable of being successful at much of anything. Which is depressing. Now I’m trying to figure out what to do with myself… Is there even a point to doing anything if I have no chance of getting anywhere with it? Some would say I should keep writing for the fun and/or satisfaction, but I can’t really get any enjoyment from something I know I can’t succeed at. (Blame the school system that taught me to crave gold stars.) Thoughts? Suggestions?

Share this Post