This movie was so boring.
It’s a movie so intent on being clever (or thinking it’s being clever, anyway), that it has exactly nothing to offer to make the audience care about any of it. By which I mean, the characters are flat and trite, and we have zero reasons to give a f*** about any of them.
“Leaden” is the word that comes to mind when I think about this movie. The pace, the characters, the plot—all leaden.
And as I mentioned, the story itself isn’t nearly as clever as it wants anyone to believe. Basically an evil Russian (Kenneth Branagh) has a weapon that can end the world by giving things “backward entropy.” So, you know, he needs to be stopped. Then there’s the cliché side plot of the baddie’s abused wife who won’t leave him because she refuses to abandon their son. Meanwhile, the main character’s name is literally “Protagonist” and he’s boring as f***. We know nothing about him, so it’s hard to invest any concern for him or anything he does. The only semi-interesting character is Neil (Robert Pattinson), and there’s not nearly enough of him to even half save this movie.
Really, the whole film felt like a series of set pieces only barely strung together with a thread of plot.
Gah. What more can I say? Boring, slow, and probably one of the worst movies I’ve seen all year.